Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be keptinterested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Happy International Women’s Day
This is so beautiful. I almost cried.
And yet the letter starts with a reference to his daughter’s looks.
Cutie-pie doesn’t necessarily mean it’s referring to her looks. You can be cute in more ways than just your looks. Just saying.
I think almost everyone who has been dumped has that feeling for a few days after where they just hope that the other person changes their mind and wants them back.
I will claw at your skin until my fingers scratch bone
I will kiss you until all that you are is bruises
I won’t stop until you are bloody
I won’t stop until you cannot fathom moving without me at your side
The way you hold me feels of cinnamon
Burning my skin and soul
Now I am in need of a blanket
Because I’m left here cold
You’re lying next to me.
And I’m half asleep,
wondering what I did
to deserve this moment –
to deserve you.
And while you’re here,
all I can think about
is what I can do tomorrow
to be better for you
than I was today.
Kate is always there every time with cookies or chocolate whenever I have heartbreak and that’s wonderful and all I could ever ask for.
One time I ordered a coffee, and neglected to mention that I wanted it iced, because I don’t really like hot beverages. You know what I said to the barista? Nothing. It was my own fault I ordered wrong, simple as that
People always have this idea that once a boy and a girl sleep on the same bed, something happened between the sheets. They say that boys will always be boys, and that it’s too hard for them to control themselves and most of the times it’ll lead to something sexual. But it’s not always like that. Isn’t it wonderful to think that these two people just sleep together, nothing more and nothing less, with no sex involved? Isn’t it nice to think that they didn’t do anything dirty, they just love to feel each other’s body heat and get lost in the sensations as their feet brush together? Isn’t it amazing to think that two people can just lay in bed together, just laying in bed, and the only thing they did is to talk about things until they fall asleep?
Physical satisfaction could actually be great. But sometimes, you don’t have to go overboard for you to be satisfied. As simple as sleeping together, that actually rocks. Enveloping yourself under the same blanket wherein you can smell their breathe and hear their heartbeat, I guess it can still give you the same chills just like in lovemaking. Though there are no physical things involved, your body so close with each other is enough. That’s more than enough. Sleeping together without any sexual contacts involved, well that’s one in a million. And it’s beautiful.